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Joe Sprague In Hell (Commentary)

by James Gibson

Commentary on Illinois UMC Bishop's Position On Terrorism Found Laughable
Sprague:  "Jesus Will NOT Come Again"
(Michael's Sword)

When Joe Sprague goes to Hell, he will find it a most uncomfortable existence. After enduring about a century's worth of torment within the twinkling of an eye, he will cry out, "Jesus, when will you come?"

To which Jesus will respond, "When did I come? Is that what you asked, Joe?"

And Sprague will say, "No! I asked when will you come? I can't stand it down here any more!"

But Jesus will say again, "When did I come? Isn't that what you're asking, Joe?"

Now becoming contentious, Sprague will cry out yet again, "I asked WHEN WILL YOU COME?"

With a look of consternation, Jesus will reply, "Joe, I came to you once as a little child. I stood up in the middle of a crowd of adults who were living under the shadow of a false religion, people who needed at that very moment to hear some word of truth. Do you remember what that little child asked you, Joe?"

Sprague will feign ignorance and pretend to be speechless for a moment. Then Jesus will say, "Joe, let me refresh your memory. The question was, 'When will Jesus come?' Now, Joe, do you remember how you answered that question then?"

In a low voice, Sprague will respond, "Uh, uh, I said you came 2,000 years ago and would not be coming back."

And Jesus will say, "Well, Joe, you answered your own question that night. Now you have eternity to live with the consequences."

James Gibson Marshallville United Methodist Church http://sites.netscape.net/saginazmon/homepage


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